(I am the Mormon coon), a song from 1905.
Words by Raymond A. Browne.
Music by Henry Clay Smith.
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
1. A coon named Ephraim skipped the town one day
Nobody knew just why he went away
Until one night a friend he got a note
It was from Eph. and this is what he wrote
“I’m out in Utah, in the Mormon land
And going to stay, because I’m living grand
I used to rave about a single life
Now ev’ry day I get a brand new wife”
Chorus
“I’ve got a big brunette, and a blonde to pet
I’ve got ’em short, fat, thin and tall
I’ve got a Cuban gal, and a Zulu pal
They come in bunches when I call
And that’s not all
I’ve got ’em pretty, too, got a homely few
I’ve got ’em black to octoroon
I can spare six or eight
Shill I ship ’em by freight?
For I am the Mormon coon”
2. There’s one gal I ain’t married yet, but say
I’m saving her up for a rainy day
If you ain’t never heard a cyclone roar
Come up and hear just how my wives can snore
If you stay out late you can “con” your wife
If I got gay that mob would have my life
It keeps me hustling in the loving line
They all yell out, “I saw him first, he’s mine”
3. Next Fall they’ll make me Gov’nor of the State
The Parsons give me commutation rate
I wish for ev’ry wife I had a cent
Why, just for photographs, a house I rent
I’ve got so many, I forget a lot
I keep the marriage license door bell hot
If on the street into a wife I run
I have to ask her, “What’s your number, Hon?”