A popular song from 1904.
Words by Vincent Bryan.
Music by J. B. Mullen.
Interpolated into the 1902 musical “The Wizard of Oz.”
The sheet music:
Accompaniment:
Lyrics
- My sweetheart had a pickle farm
And played the piccolo
And when a pickle grew too high
Too high to pick, you know
He used to blow the piccolo
Upon his little piccolo
Some awful tunes he’d play
My dog Napoleon heard them
And grew thinner ev’ry day
My dog was quite a cunning little elf
When the piccolo would blow
He’d blow himself
Chorus
‘Twas enough to make a perfect lady mad
My poor old dog grew bony as a shad
It nearly broke my aching heart
To see Napoleon’s bony part
That music spoiled the nicest nap I had
‘Twas enough to make a perfect lady mad
- I knew a nice young lady
Once she had a pompadour
And when she would undo her hair
It fell down to the floor
‘Twas dark and rich, a lovely switch
Now underneath this pompadour
She used to put a rat
One afternoon she fell asleep
And some big Thomas cat
Saw that poor rat a nestling in her hair
He ate the rat, and took its place up there
Chorus
‘Twas enough to make a perfect lady mad
She lost the nicest rat she ever had
She went to give her hair a twist
The Tom cat scratch’d her on the wrist
Her pompadour was mussed up awful bad
‘Twas enough to make a perfect lady mad
- A lady got upon a car
Her car fare in her mouth
The car was started suddenly
That nickel soon went south
Without a frown ’twas swallowed down
Now when that nickel disappeared
The lady was in doubt
To find if she was five cents in
Or just a nickel out
You should have seen that woman’s worried looks
While wond’ring how she’d balance up her books
Chorus
‘Twas enough to make a perfect lady mad
She had not the only nickel that she had
Down in her throat her car fare stuck
The wise conductor rang it up
And as he did he said I guess I’m bad
‘Twas enough to make a perfect lady mad
(there are three additional verses in the sheet music)
Sung here by Vancha March: