A popular song from 1914.
Words and music by “Hank” Hancock, Ballard MacDonald, and Harry Carroll.
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
- Hans Gustav Snider
A local provider
Of groceries, canned goods and such
Had read of the war
Till himself and the store
Were both what is known as “In Dutch”
His brains he’d been feeding
On so much war reading
He woke up one night in a fright
He rushed down the stairs
Fell over two chairs
And turned on the groc’ry store light
Chorus
There were eggshells bursting near and far
Above the Russian caviar
A Bismark herring by itself
Was pushing all the French peas off the shelf
An Irish potato started to cry
When a Spanish onion hit its eye
Frankfurters fighting all over the floor
Howling and growling, “We’re the dogs of war”
There was “Sunny Jim”, upon a horse
Swooping down with all his “Force”
The Paprika growing weaker, shouted out
“Won’t you open that door?”
And a couple of tough Vienna rolls
Shot a poor Swiss Cheese all full of holes
In the terrible war in Snider’s groc’ry store
- Dutch pumpernickle
Had joined a dill pickle
Attacking the fresh navy beans
A limburger cheese
Greatly strengthened the breeze
And anchovies, prunes and sardines
Were fighting an army
Of dago salami
And that’s only half what he saw
He jumped into bed
Put ice on his head
And went on the wagon once more
Sung here by Laurence Rubenstein: