A comic song from 1877
Words and music by Wm. T. Meyer
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by Denese Coulbeck:
Lyrics
- If you’ll listen, dear friends, I will sing you a song
It’s about an old bachelor they call Uncle John
And he lives by himself in a little log frame
‘Way out on the green at the end of the lane
He is called very queer, yet he’s tidy and neat
Only wears number tens on his dear little feet
And he looks very odd with his old-fashioned clothes
But the queerest of all is his awful big nose
Chorus
Yet he’ll sing and he’ll laugh
And he’ll laugh and he’ll sing
Till his little log cabin with music doth ring
He’s a jolly old soul, be it sunshine or rain
This queer little chap at the end of the lane
- Yes, his feet are quite large, and of course it don’t suit
For a small man like him to wear such a large boot
But he does not go fretting, no he’ll laugh and he’ll sing
And he feels just as happy as though he were king
He is chief cook and washer, yes, does his own baking
And the clothes that he wears are ‘most all his own making
And the evenings he passes by smoking his pipe
To drive away care, and to make his heart light - But our friend soon got tired of a bachelor’s life
So he vowed he would try and secure a good wife
Soon he hears of a beauty they called Molly Brown
Who lived on a farm, ’bout a mile out of town
So he started at once, thro’ an orchard he passed
Which was laden’d with apples that were ripening fast
As he passed by a tree a two-pounder fell down
Which hit his silk hat, and of course smashed the crown - He soon had his hat in a pretty good trim
As he started again being determined to win
Next he went thro’ a field which the farmer did keep
For the purpose of feeding and herding his sheep
Then he passed slowly on, never thinking of fear
Till he heard a strange noise that was now very near
Just a glance! and he saw an old sheep on his track
Which gave him a whack that he flew on his back - When over his fright, he continued his steps
Never minding the frequent unpleasant mishaps
Soon he came to a log that lay ‘cross a small stream
Which looked very slippery, and smooth as a bean
He paused a few moments before he would go
And when he did go took it awfully slow
As he’d passed half way over he made a few reels
And he slipped in the water all head over heels - The next thing he did he politely crawled out
And looked whether anyone else was about
But his fine clothes were spoiled, and the starch was all gone
Which knocked all his plans, and made everything wrong
Now this was too much for our friend Uncle John
And he pulled down his face till it looked rather long
Yes, he vowed he would soon live bachelor’s life
Than to go thro’ such trials to secure a good wife