A funny song from 1965.
Words and music by Tom Lehrer.
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
- Smut! Give me smut and nothing but!
A dirty novel I can’t shut
If it’s uncut, and unsubt- le
I’ve never quibbled if it was ribald
I would devour where others merely nibbled
As the judge remarked the day that he
Acquitted my Aunt Hortense, “To be smut
It must be utterly without redeeming social importance.”
Pornographic pictures I adore
Indecent magazines galore
I like them more if they’re hard core
Interlude
(Bring on the obscene movies, murals, postcards, neckties
Samplers, stained-glass windows, tattoos, anything!
More, more, I’m still not satisfied!)
Stories of tortures
Used by debauchers
Lurid, licentious, and vile
Make me smile
Novels that pander
To my taste for candor
Give me a pleasure sublime
(Let’s face it, I love slime.)
All books can be indecent books
Though recent books are bolder
For filth (I’m glad to say) is in
The mind of the beholder
When correctly viewed
Everything is lewd
(I could tell you things about Peter Pan
And the Wizard of Oz, there’s a dirty old man!)
- I thrill to any book like Fanny Hill
And I suppose I always will
If it is swill and really filthy
Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately?
I’ve got a hobby: rereading Lady Chatterley
But now they’re trying to take it all
Away from us unless
We take a stand, and hand in hand
We fight for freedom of the press
In other words
Smut! (I love it)
Ah, the adventures of a slut
Oh, I’m a market they can’t glut
I don’t know what
Compares with smut
Hip hip hooray!
Let’s hear it for the Supreme Court!
Don’t let them take it away!
Sung here by Tom Lehrer. Video by Vancha March: