Poisoning Pigeons In the Park

A funny song from 1953.
Words and music by Tom Lehrer.


The sheet music:


Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:


Lyrics

Spring is here
A-suh-puh-ring is here
Life is skittles and life is beer
I think the loveliest time
Of the year is the spring
I do, don’t you? ‘Course you do
But there’s one thing
That makes spring complete for me
And makes every Sunday
A treat for me
All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon
When we’re poisoning pigeons in the park
Every Sunday you’ll see
My sweetheart and me
As we poison the pigeons in the park
When they see us coming
The birdies all try and hide
But they still go for peanuts
When coated with cyanide
The sun’s shining bright
Everything seems all right
When we’re poisoning pigeons in the park
We’ve gained notoriety
And caused much anxiety
In the Audubon Society
With our games
They call it impiety
And lack of propriety
And quite a variety
Of unpleasant names
But it’s not against any religion
To want to dispose of a pigeon
So if Sunday you’re free
Why don’t you come with me
And we’ll poison the pigeons in the park
And maybe we’ll do
In a squirrel or two
While we’re poisoning pigeons in the park
We’ll murder them all
Amid laughter and merriment
Except for the few
We take home to experiment
My pulse will be quickenin’
With each drop of strychnine
We feed to a pigeon
(It just takes a smidgin!)
To poison a pigeon in the park


Sung here by Vancha March: