A popular song from 1914
words by Gus Kahn
music by Grace Le Boy
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
- I once knew a woman who couldn’t spell cat
And she was as homely as cinch
In winter she always wore last summer’s hat
And a size leven she in a pinch
When she play’d piano weak women would faint
And strong men would cry out in grief
While as for her singing, well, that made you feel
That is wasnn’t so bad to be deef
Yet still she had company most ev’ry day
And her looks and her voice couldn’t drive them away
For
Chorus
Oh! how that woman could cook!
Her bread was like Angel’s Fool’s cake!
She could take soup meat and give it a look
And it tasted like tenderhouse steak
Her Zup had a flavor like peaches and cream
Her panacakes, Oh! what a beautiful dream
With a table between us she was pretty like Venus
Ach Gott! How that woman could cook!
- I once had a meal in a hightoned hotel
Where the waiters was dressed up like dudes
The crok’ry and silver was terrible swell
But I did not care much for the foods
I ordered Consoomme account of the name
I said I’d be swell when in doubt
It made me quite crazy to find when it came
It was soup with the filling left out!
When I paid the waiter I said Here’s a tip
When you’re hungry to my friends house just take a trip
For
Chorus
Oh! how that woman could cook!
I could not prescribe it to you!
She had receipts which was not in no book
And what nobody else ever knew!
She made Vegetabubbles like never before
And you et a you et till you couldn’t no more
And her Eysters and fishes was simply malicious
Ach Gott! How that woman could cook!
Chorus
Oh! how that woman could bake!
I tell you the words won’t come out!
She made a pie called a plum-pudding cake
And it simply would melt in your mouth!
Her stroodles with noodles would just make you weep
And when you drank her coffee your feet fell asleep!
While her liver and onions would cure corns and bunions
Ach Gott! How that woman could cook!