A comedy song from 1929
Words and music by Charles Tobias and Geo. J. Bennett
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
- What’s the greatest problem now throughout the land
What’s the only problem needs a helping hand
It isn’t Philip Snowden, or tax relief I find
It’s something more important now on everybody’s mind
Just walk into any home today
It’s ten to one you’ll hear each husband say
Chorus
My wife is on a diet, and since she’s on a diet
Home isn’t home any more
No gravy and potatoes, just lettuce and tomatoes
Where are the pies I adore
Oh, oh, oh, oh, what a disgrace
I’m ashamed to look a grapefruit straight in the face
My wife is on a diet, and since she’s on a diet
I’m losing a pound every day
- Husbands don’t admit it, but the wife is boss
Who does all the cooking, it’s the wife of course
Put two and two together, and then you will agree
If she is on a diet then you’ll eat the same as she
It won’t help at all if you protest
Just sing this as you tighten up your vest
Chorus
Since wifie’s on a diet, I mustn’t mention “fry it”
Wifie will only get mad
It used to be a blessin’ to eat delicatessen
Tell me, who started this fad?
Crabs and shrimps I must leave alone
I’m the only lobster she’ll allow in my home
My wife is on a diet, and since she’s on a diet
She’s gaining a pound every day
Sung here by Laurence Rubenstein: