a 1922 popular song
words and music by Ed Gallagher and Al Shean
The sheet music:
Accompaniment:
Lyrics
There are two funny men, the best I’ve ever seen
One is Mister Gallagher, the other Mister Shean
When these two cronies meet, it surely is a treat
The things they say, and the things they do
And the funny way they greet
Chorus
Oh! Mister Gallagher, Oh! Mister Gallagher
Hello what’s on your mind this morning, Mister Shean
Everybody’s making fun
Of the way our country’s run
All the papers say we’ll soon live European
Why Mister Shean, why Mister Shean
On the day they took away our old canteen
Cost of living went so high
That it’s cheaper now to die
Positively Mister Gallagher
Absolutely Mister Shean
Chorus
Oh! Mister Gallagher, Oh! Mister Gallagher
If you’re a friend of mine
You’ll lend me a couple of bucks
I’m so broke and badly bent
And I haven’t got a cent
I’m so clean you’d think that I was washed with Lux
Oh! Mister Shean, Oh! Mister Shean
Do you mean to say you haven’t got a bean?
On my word as I’m alive
I intended touching you for five
Oh I thank you Mister Gallagher
You are welcome Mister Shean
Chorus
Oh! Mister Gallagher, Oh! Mister Gallagher
Once I think I saw you save a lady’s life
In a rowboat out to sea
You were a hero then to me
And I thought perhaps you’ve made this girl your wife
Oh! Mister Shean, Oh! Mister Shean
As she sunk I dove down like a submarine
Dragged her up upon the shore
Now she’s mine forever more
Who the lady, Mister Gallagher?
No the rowboat, Mister Shean
Chorus
Oh! Mister Gallagher, Oh! Mister Gallagher
What’s the name of that game they play on the links?
With a stick they knock the ball
Where you can’t find it at all
Then the caddie walks around and thinks and thinks
Oh! Mister Shean, Oh! Mister Shean
You don’t even know a hazard from a green
It’s become a popular game
And you don’t even know it’s name
Sure, it’s croquette, Mister Gallagher
No, lawn tennis, Mister Shean
Sung here by Fred Feild: