Lord! Have Mercy On A Married Man

A comedy song from 1911.
Words by Edgar Leslie
Music by J. Fred Helf.


The sheet music:


Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:


Lyrics

  1. Gen’ral Sherman once remarked
    That “War was Hell”
    I’ve never been a soldier
    But I know it well
    I’ve a wife and that’s enough
    Gee! but married life is tough
    Case of fight both day and night
    I’m gentle and she’s rough
    If I could find the man who married me
    I’d hang him on a sour apple tree

Chorus
Wedding Bells, sweet Wedding bells
Never harmonize with Baby yells
Why did I get married?
If I’d only tarried, with the crowd I’d mingle
Yelling out, “God bless the single”
Work by day and fight by night
Stand it no one can
So, now you congregation
Say a prayer for my salvation
Lord! Have mercy on a married man

  1. Kipling wrote a “Fool there was”
    And I’m that man
    The “Marriage Stakes” have claimed me
    As an “also ran”
    Ev’ry night, I walk the floor
    Listening to the babies roar
    When they’re through their ‘Bally hoo’
    My wife begins to snore
    If Life depended on the marriage knot
    I’d rather join the Army and be shot

Chorus
Wedding Bells, sweet Wedding bells
Never harmonize with Baby yells
Why did I get married?
If I’d only tarried, was I off my “Beedle”
Send for “Watson, quick the needle”
Work by day and fight by ight
Stand it no one can
If you want to hear the jingle
Of two dimes, why just stay single
Lord! Have mercy on a married man