From the Japanese musical play “The Geisha”, 1896.
words by Harry Greenbank
music by Sidney Jones
The sheet music:
Accompaniment from gsarchive.net:
Lyrics
- A parrot once resided in a pretty gilded cage
Sarcastic was his temper and uncertain was his age
He knew that two canaries had apartments overhead
Who’d only very recently been wed, they’d recently been wed
He kept an eye on all that they were doing
An interfering parrot in a nasty frame of mind
And vowed he’d stop their billing and their cooing
Which really was exceedingly unkind, exceedingly unkind
Polly winked his eye and Polly gave a sigh
And Polly took his best hat down
He called on Mrs. C. and took a cup of tea
When Mr. C. had gone to town
Then wisely wagged his head and seriously said
“Well, husbands are a lot, a pretty one you’ve got
Such tales I never heard, so dissolute a bird
I never met before, what goings on! oh, Lor”
- He left the poor canary with her spirits rather low
But when she got her husband home her tongue began to go
In vain he tried caresses and attempted to deny
The silly little bird began to cry, the bird began to cry
She told him that she knew he loved another
A shocking accusation for a little bird to make
And said she meant to go and see her mother
A very silly step for her to take, a silly step to take
Polly wink’d his eye and Polly gave a sigh
And Polly took his best hat down
He knew there’d be a fuss, so jumping on a bus
He called on Mister C. in town
Then wisely wagged his head and seriously said
“A pretty wife you’ve got, I see you’ve had it hot
And, bless her heart, it’s true she’s just as bad as you
Directly you are gone, oh, don’t she carry on”
- Canary’s yellow countenance with jealousy was green
And when he met his wife, they had a nice domestic scene
Till she with pocket handkerchief and he with sullen scowl
They hurried off to Mr. Justice Owl, to Mr. Justice Owl
He granted a judicial separation
And all because of Polly’s unsubstantiated words
And now they live in icy isolation
Two really very wretched little birds, two wretched little birds
Polly wink’d his eye and Polly gave a sigh
And Polly bought a special Sun
He read the full report of what occurr’d in Court
And chuckled at the mischief done
Then going off to bed, contentedly he said
“Thank goodness that’s all right, I’ll get some sleep tonight
A thing I cannot do when lovers bill and coo
They won’t annoy a soul, poor Polly! scratch a poll”
- Of course there is a moral and of course it’s at the end
Those foolish young canaries had a monkey for a friend
And as to all the trouble each in turn was giving vent
They put the cunning monkey on the scent
They put him on the scent
He called upon the parrot in the morning
No doubt the parrot wondered what on earth he had to say
And went for him without the slightest warning
The parrot had a very happy day, a very happy day
Polly piped his eye, and Polly gave a sigh
And Polly used a naughty word
The monkey, when he’d done of feathers hardly one
Had left upon the bad old bird
He scratched his aching head and ruefully he said
“Oh, Sarah, ain’t it prime? I’ve had a beastly time
Poor Polly’s feeling bad, oh, what a day I’ve had
I’m sorry on the whole, poor Polly! scratch a poll”
Sung here by Fred Feild: