A 1922 popular song.
Words by Grant Clarke and Edgar Leslie.
Music by Pete Wendling.
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
- Fools there were, fools there are
And fools there’ll always be
But the greatest fool of all, you see
Has the flat across the hall from me
Married? Yes. happiness took one look and went
I declare, he’s a bear for punishment
Chorus
She hits him on the chin ev’ry time he comes in
And he loves it, how he loves it
He’s the ‘Perfect Fool’ there was
Stands for ev’rything she does
She waits for Saturday then she captures his pay
And he loves it, I vow
He makes it, that ends it
She takes it, and spends it
Oh! Boy, and how
Buys herself the most expensive hose
Has to have the latest Paris clothes
Takes another feller to a dance
Leaves him home with patches in his pants
Oh! folks you’ve never heard her
She gets away with murder
I’d like to put him wise
But he’s one of those guys
And he loves it, that’s all
- Bonds and stocks go for “Rocks” and luxuries galore
Yet if he’s in bed and starts to snore
He is made to sleep upon the floor
Neighbors say that’s his way
He must have a boss
That may be, but to me it’s “Apple Sauce”
Chorus
She hits him with a plate if he’s one minute late
And he loves it, how he loves it
He’s the ‘Perfect Fool’ there was
Stands for ev’rything she does
She makes a Apple Pie that would kill any guy
And he loves it, I vow
She takes it, cooks it
He eats it, and looks it
Oh! Boy, and how
Often cooks herself a fricasee
Says, “My dear, there’s just enough for me”
Then invites a half a dozen chaps
After dinner he eats all the scraps
Oh! My what that guy stands for
What has a man got hands for
I’d like to put him wise
But he’s one of those guys
And he loves it, that’s all
Sung here by Fred Feild: