Everything Is Going Up

A comic song from 1917.
Words by Stanley Murphy.
Music by Albert Gumble.


The sheet music:


Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:


Lyrics

  1. When I was just a little kidlet
    Once upon a time
    My mother used to send me
    To the store with just a dime
    And I’d bring home a sirloin steak
    Quite big enough for three
    And mother dear, the good old soul
    Would give the change to me
    Then eighty cents bought ma a hat
    All trimm’d with silk and plush
    Today I paid a dollar
    For a plate of oatmeal mush

Chorus
Ev’rything is going up, going up
And now the price of gasoline
Is sixty cents a cup
You pay as much for calico
As mother paid for silk
And you used to get champagne
For what they’re charging now for milk
The latest styles in ladies shoes
Go ‘way up to their knees
It’s shocking how much stocking
Ev’ry man on Broadway sees
And the dresses they’re no higher
On the Island of Hawaii
For ev’rything is going, going, going up

  1. When I grew up I used to
    Take my girl to see a show
    And after it was over to a restaurant we’d go
    And how we would enjoy ourselves
    It surely was immense
    And I remember once it cost me nearly ninety cents
    Just take a hundred-dollar bill along with you today
    And go the route and try to make it last you all the way

Chorus
Ev’rything is going up, going up
They pay ten thousand dollars
For a Pomeranian pup
You buy a hat for “ten”
And that’s the price that they expect
It costs you fifteen dollars ev’ry month
To have it checked
The Russians run so fast
And they wear out so many shoes
The price of leather’s altogether
Higher now than booze
And now Tiffany is getting
Out a ring with coal for setting
For ev’rything is going, going, going up

  1. On Saturday when work was o’er
    My dad would bring home “ten”
    My mother paid the grocer
    And the butcher, too, and then
    She’d lay away a little
    For the old piano man
    Who sold us our piano
    On the monthly payment plan
    We never went without a thing
    My ma was strong on “eats”
    The other day I paid ten dollars
    For a peck of beets

Chorus
Ev’rything is going up, going up
It costs you fifty dollars
In a restaurant to “sup”
A fellow bought a hundred thousand
Shares of Bethl’hem steel
And now the neighbors say that
He has eggs at ev’ry meal
They weigh things by the carat
That they once sold by the peck
The ladies wear their waistline
Where they used to wear their neck
If you are not a great winner
You can eat and still grow thinner
For ev’rything is going, going, going up


Sung here by Laurence Rubenstein: