A 1915 comic song version written to a popular eccentric Fox-Trot by the same name.
Words by L. Wolfe Gilbert
Music by S. R. Henry
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
1. Old Josh who came to town from Oskaloosa
To sell his oldest milking brindle cow
Said he, “Now she’s a reg’lar lallapaloosa”
Betch yer forty dollars she will fetch ten beans
By Heck! this is a rattling lively city
By Gosh! just look at all those ‘lectric cars
By Gum! it surely is a doggone pity
Didn’t put a half a dollar in my jeans”
Chorus
“Oh what a town, makes me feel just like a clown
Here I’m walking up and down
With a cow, by Heck! wow!
I’m some darn fool, I’m a devil as a rule
Guess I’ll swap ‘er for a mule
My jewel, it’s cruel, by Heck!
Oh! what a town (honest to goodness I am sore)
Makes me feel just like a clown (never come back here any more)
Here I’m walking up and down (with a valise)
And a cow (where’s the police?), by Heck! wow!
I’m some darn fool (like a kid just out of school)
I’m a devil as a rule (I’m the village constabule)
Guess I’ll swap ‘er for a mule (dollar to boot)
My jewel (isn’t she cute)
It’s cruel, By Heck! wow!”
2. Josh went into a place that they call “Rector”
The girls wore dresses mostly cut away
A boy stood at the door and called him “Hector”
Said “I’ll take your hat and coat, sir, if I may
By Heck! that stirred the blood in Uncle Joshway
Said he, “I’m not as foolish at I look
By Gosh! my brother used to be a burglar
Knew it in a minute that you was a crook”
Sung here by Fred Feild: