From “The Laughing Husband”, 1914
Words by Harry B. Smith
Music by Jerome Kern
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
Love used to be such a perfect dream of romance,
Now it’s a business deal,
Right up to date is Romeo,
And Juliet is not so slow.
For our modern marriages leave nothing to chance,
Lovers no longer kneel,
Love is not a sentimental song impassioned
Moonlight, music, Poetry and flow’rs all
That’s old fashioned now
That’s old fashioned.
Girls never say they will honor and obey,
They’re much too wise,
That is quite passé,
But leave that to me and in time well
Refrain
You’re the prize I played for,
That’s what men are made for,
Now your liberty you resign,
You are mine, bought and paid for.
Cupid’s shop entices,
All must pay his prices,
If a bargain you seem to be,
You’re sent home C. O. D.
- But we’ll be happy you and I
In spite of any marriage tie.
Let us pretend we don’t care what the world discovers
Let us imagine we are free
Like turtle doves we will agree,
And all the world will say we’re a pair of foolish lovers
Because dear, Girls in the olden days
Were clinging young vines
Men the oaks they say
That clinging vine is now a joke,
Unless it’s she who is the oak.
That sort of theory is folly you’ll find,
Battles the man must fight
So must she, she has to be her own defender
He’s the strong one and his motto must be:
Don’t offend her please, No surrender.
If we are one, we will soon decide which one,
If you or I, either you or I.
When we disagree leave it all to me.