From the 1903 operetta “Babes in Toyland”.
Words by Glen MacDonough.
Music by Victor Herbert.
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
- Dear Beatrice Barefacts, a country girl am I
Next month I’m going down to town
So tell me how to make a gown of scraps I’ve put by
I’ve carefully saved up
A skirt of purple plush
With this would it be quite in taste
To wear a yellow velvet waist?
Your answer quickly rush
Tush! tush! Tush! tush!
Dear Maud you make me shiver
That dress worn on a ferry boat
Would scare away the river
Refrain
Oh, write to Beatrice Barefacts whenever you are in doubt
Oh she will help you out
She’ll put your doubt to rout
The talented Miss Barefacts
She tells a thing or two
In the Perfect Ladies column of the Woman’s Home Magoo
- Dear Beatrice Barefacts, I am a nice young man
I do not drink or smoke or swear
I tint my nails and bang my hair
And cards and races ban
My salary weekly is small, I beg to say
But I’d no longer dwell alone
Now would you wed and start a home on eighty cents a day?
Nay! nay! Nay nay!
Dear Claude there’s nothing in it
A home on eighty cents a day
Would last just eighty minutes
- Dear Beatrice Barefacts, am I in love or not?
Since I a certain party saw
I sleep and smile and eat no more
But weep an awful lot
Whenever I meet him I’m frozen to the spot
My blood goes rushing to my head
I know my nose turns fiery red
Can this be Love or what?
Dear me! Dear me!
Louise it is a question
You have a dreadful case of love
Or chronic indigestion
Sung here by Vancha March: