From the 1914 musical “The Girl From Utah”.
Words and music by Worton David and Bert Lee.
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
- Ev’rything is Tango in this world of sin
We have Tango eatables and Tango drops of gin
Last week at our church we had a Tango Tea affair
Ev’rybody filled their Tango Little Marys there
Listen, brethren all and in a word
I’ll tell to you a few things that occur’d
Chorus
At our Tango Tea last week
Ev’rything was novel and unique
Little Missis Jones wore a Tango dress
What you couldn’t see of her of course you had to guess
Miss Lucinda Greene did the Tango bow
Someone caught her bending and she’s with the angels now
We had Tango tea, and without a doubt
It was so very weak it couldn’t Tango thro’ the spout
Mister Bertie Bloggs gave a new idea
He tried to do the Tango splits and ruin’d his career
Down a lady’s back I dropp’d some cake
We search’t for it for half an hour, then sent for Sexton Blake
One young lady there, rather gaily frock’d
Slipp’d on a banana and the bishops all were shock’d
At our tango tea last week
- After we had finish’d tea and murmur’d grace
We’d a Tango concert for the local populace
As a fiery baritone I really caused surprise
Sang “The Village Blacksmith” till the sparks flew from my eyes
Give me your attention, friends, I pray
And I’ll relate what happen’d on that day
Chorus
At our Tango Tea last week
Verily the singing was unique
Buxom Missis Brown, with a saucy leer
Sang “Meet me in the moonlight,” and the vocar said “Hear, Hear”
Ancient Miss No-Hope sang with heart afire
“I’m Twenty-one today,” and someone warbled “Strike the Lyre”
Clarance Vere de Vere, sang “My Pretty Jane”
Also “The Children’s Home” accomp’nied by the Queen of Spain
Mister Burton Bass gave “Beer, glorious beer”
Ev’rybody shouted for an encore, so I hear
Modest Millie Green sang with simple trust
“I didn’t want to do it,” but the vicar said she must
Then to end the show, I gave out the tracts
And sang, “There is a Happy land which Lloyd George cannot tax”
At our tango tea last week
- Ev’ryone was happy at our tea, I’m sure
Until the collection, then they all made for the door
I said, “Tarry yet awhile for games we’re going to play”
Someone shouted “Thumbs up” what he meant I couldn’t say
By the girls some new games I was taught
Ah, me! my heart rejoiceth at the thought
Chorus
At our Tango Tea last week
First we had a game at Hide and Seek
‘Neath the table there with Miss Jones I hid
They forgot to find us, and I’m very pleas’d the did
Hunt the Slipper, too, for a while we tried
I soon found a slipper, but it had a girl inside
Then at Blindman’s Buff, we’d a jolly scene
I was blind for hours, but I don’t mean what you mean
Hide the Thimble then caus’d a lot of fun
Someone hid the thimble in the vicar’s currant bum
Then at Tiddley Winks I play’d with Miss Binks
I supplied the tiddley and the lady gave the winks
Then we play’d a game Kissing in the ring
Someone turn’d the gas out, so I sang, “God save the King”
At our tango tea last week
Sung here by Vancha March: