A popular song from 1913.
Words by Sam Ehrlich.
Music by Albert Gumble.
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
- A young man to his father said
“Oh, Dad, I think I’m going to wed
I’ve found the girl at last I’m going to marry
She wears her heart upon her sleeve
And honest, Daddy, I believe
You’d try to cut me out if you met Carrie”
The father said, “My son, beware
Don’t build your castles in the air
Go easy when it comes to Matrimony
In life there’s just one fatal day
The day she says ‘I will obey’
So listen, son, before the ceremony”
Chorus
“If she tells you that she loves you
As she never loved before
Think of poor old Adam ‘neath the apple tree
If she calls you names like ‘Ducky’
That’s a danger signal, son
To be candid that’s how mother captured me
If she speaks of orange blossoms
You must change the subject quick
Talk of baseball or some other silly thing
Once she says, ‘I’ll be your wife’
Why then your goose is cooked for life
All is over when the bells begin to ring”
- The young man said, “I’ve bought the ring
The wedding will take place in spring
So, Dad, be careful how you speak of Carrie
She always talks economy
And vows she’ll save up wealth for me
The only kind of girl a man should marry”
He brought her to his home one night
And stood her underneath the light
Where Dad could make a very close inspection
When Carrie spoke of diamond rings
Swell evening gowns and other things
The old man then spoke up with fond affection
Chorus
“If she tells you she’s domestic
And she loves to sew and cook
Don’t be tempted
Others made the same mistake
If she speaks of dainty dishes
Just believe her ’till she says
She’ll make pies for you
Like mother used to bake
Don’t invite the indigestion
While you are a happy man
‘Cause a tombstone is a rather gloomy thing
When you sign that license, boy
That puts an end to all your joy
All is over when the bells begin to ring”
Sung here by Vancha March: